Not all relationships are rainbows and butterflies. Most actually aren’t, especially in high school when students prioritize hanging out with friends and the latest trends rather than focusing on how to treat their partner right. Even though a relationship doesn’t always come to a crashing halt, they show signs that hint a relationship is nearing its end.
High school romances can end due to a multitude of different reasons, but it’s often because of issues with compatibility. High school students are quick to jump into a relationship without much thought, when you don’t know the other person and are unaware of what is important to you. Freshman Arlene Benitez knows what a red flag means to her.
“[A red flag is] something that you don’t like or something that’s toxic that somebody does,” Benitez said.
Red flags are different for everyone, causing them to be difficult to identify. After being in a relationship, Benitez has found what fits her the best: being true to herself, as well as her partner.
“I feel like when you’re in a relationship with somebody you can’t be secretive about stuff that makes you, you,” Benitez said.
Kristen Hetzel has been a counselor at NHS for 11 years. Over her career, she has seen the many different ways high schoolers attempt to fit it, and how they can be affected.
“Manipulation can be a big red flag. In general, high school students want to fit in with others,” Hetzel said.
Hetzel has seen how this manipulation, and other red flags, can affect students and their everyday lives. Sophomore Nicholas Morris, who has been in a few relationships, has learned what he prefers.
“Cheating and manipulation are big red flags for me.” Morris said.
Relationship experts tend to agree when it comes to manipulation as a definite red flag. Many students don’t realize the importance of knowing whether a relationship is stable or not.
“Dating relationships can build the same skills, but I think that type of relationship depends on comfort level,” Hetzel said.
Students at NHS show that learning what you find unfavorable in high school can help you later in life as you navigate adult relationships. Red flags in adults can be very different from those found in high school students. Red flags discovered in a high school relationship can range from big issues like substance abuse to small things that betray your partner’s trust.
“I think addicts and microcheating are two big red flags that a lot of high school students have,” Morris said.
While Morris believes that loyalty and integrity is important, Benitez has found that being able to be herself around her significant other is more important. Benitez has found that standards males are held up to pale in comparison to standards women face in high school.
“The way a girl dresses, it’s like a double standard. It’s okay for a guy to wear whatever, but if a girl wears something bad, that could be seen as a red flag,” Benitez said.
According to Hetzel these prejudices exist in the real world, and high school can teach students necessary skills to become successful for adulthood. Hetzel believes that any social relationship can help to build skills like setting boundaries and communication, which are needed in day-to-day life.
“High school is a good time to learn to identify toxic elements in relationships and learn if it is something that can be worked through or there needs to be an end to a relationship,” Hetzel said.
