For those of you that haven’t seen Sixteen Candles, please read this before you let yourself be tricked into thinking Jake Ryan is a cool guy. Jake Ryan is an awful person, but an entire generation let him get away with it, asking, “How come I never found my Jake Ryan?” Trust me, you don’t want a Jake Ryan, and here’s why:

1. He’s narcissistic. He’s only interested in Sam because she stares at him. He knows nothing about her, and he’s never bothered to speak to her.

2. He only pursues this interest after finding a note saying she’d sleep with him and while he was already in a pretty serious relationship.

3. At one point in the movie, he’s talking to The Geek, explaining that he could “get some anytime he wanted” because his hot girlfriend was passed out in the next room. When The Geek asks why he doesn’t, he says she’s not his type. He chooses not to rape a girl because she’s not his type. Not because of, you know, morals.

6. He lets The Geek, who has never driven before (and has likely been drinking), drive his passed-out girlfriend around. The Geek and his friends pose her for pictures with her, and could easily take advantage of her, while she is still passed out.

7. Once Jake’s girlfriend sobers up, The Geek lies and tells her that they had sex. Jake uses this false “infidelity” to break up with her and start dating Sam the next day.

    The fact that Jake does all of these terrible things makes me wonder why he’s considered so great. Jake Ryan is just one small part of a much larger problem. People get away with things because of factors that have nothing to do with moral discipline. How does Jake get away with things? The answer is a simple but frustrating one: he’s good looking and wealthy. His red 1983 Porsche 944 distracts Sixteen Candles viewers from the fact that the things he does aren’t cool like his car.