“When she keeps forgetting that your name isn’t Help.”

“I can run faster horny than you can scared.”

“Why are girls so scared of rape? Y’all should feel pride that a guy risked his life in jail just to [have sex with] you.”

“I don’t see a problem. Fifty percent of the people involved are enjoying themselves.”

Okay. Regroup. Stifle your laughter.

    Have you seen these posts on Twitter? Or Tumblr? Are you still chuckling?

    Then you are the problem.

    The floodgates were opened with Harvey Weinstein, and now the stories are spilling out in an endless stream. But an ugly undercurrent persists when it comes to how victims are perceived by the world.       

   Rape is ugly. This conversation isn’t going to be about redemption or about victim’s discovering a hidden source of strength among all of their pain. Because rape is not a survival story. It’s not proof of heroism. It’s proof of every violated girl’s loss of some honest part of herself. If you are a participant in making this a laughing matter, YOU make us dishonest.

    Victims of rape are not required to get better. They don’t have to keep their story a secret in order to make those around them more comfortable. And they especially don’t have to learn anything from their assault.

    What is the problem, you ask? Institutionalized acceptance of the objectification and dehumanization of, predominantly, the female sex. Other than Kevin Spacey, who was accused by more than 10 men of sexual assault, females these days are taking the hits, and men are throwing the punches. Need an example? Look at the ever-expanding list of names charged with sexual assault that pop up in the headlines each day.

    Rape culture is the normalization of sexual violence tied with incorrectly blaming the victim of the violence as part of the problem. In popular entertainment and in so many conversations today, not only is rape treated as trivial, but it’s actually used as a plot point — see Fifty Shades Freed. Rape is sexy!

    The saddest part is that the actual act of rape is being overshadowed by an insensitivity that is a product of an apathetic culture. It’s the fact that a large number of people in our modern world watch movies, television, listen to songs, and laugh at jokes that all contain graphic degradations of women. When did dehumanization become a fetish?

    Here’s the best way to commit a robbery and guarantee no jail time in America today— rape a girl. You can steal a milestone of her life and run with it, endlessly, unquestioned and uncaptured.

    This is real. Brock Turner, a scholarship swimmer at Stanford, raped an unconscious girl in January 2015. During his trial, Turner’s father claimed that his life shouldn’t be ruined over what the dad called “twenty minutes of action.” And to pour salt in this already bloody wound, Turner only served three months of jail time before being released because of “good behavior.” Millions of these stories exist today, the only difference lies in the name.

     This is the repulsive part of the story. The part where a woman’s femininity wakes up withering and shivering. She deserves better. She deserves an end to all of this. No more cold nights under layers of blankets. No more choking down dinner. No more picking the non-existent dirt out of her nails.

    This world is uninhabitable for women under attack. Every morning, girls wake up surrounded by a community that doesn’t care about rape. They wake up to Robin Thicke singing of the “Blurred Lines” of consent. They wake up to Saint Mary’s University in Canada that allows the following student orientation chant: “Y is for your sister. O is for oh-so-tight. U is for underage. N is for no consent. G is for grab that ass.” They even wake up to Reddit threads like, “You just have to make sure she’s dead” which originated with the story of a 13-year-old girl in Pakistan who was raped and buried alive.

    Indie-rock and soul musician, Hozier, is one of the only male artists to recognize rape culture. In his song, “To Be Alone,” Hozier belts out, “Never feel too good in crowds….when they’re playing the anthems of rape culture loud.” But when talking about the song in an interview, Hozier disappointed women everywhere, saying that he wasn’t trying to start a fight about rape culture. Why aren’t you trying to start a fight, Hozier? If you recognize that most females live in a current culture that feels invasive and makes them sick to their stomachs, why wouldn’t you go to war for that?

    Women are already at war. Unfortunately, too many people seem to have joined the wrong side.