Last year was the first time I had ever gone out on Valentine’s Day. It was also the first time I had seen an old couple make out. From what I can assume, it was probably their first since the ‘80s.

It only makes me question why people do these extreme acts of romance on the excuse of “love?”

Maybe it’s just me, but Valentine’s Day being outwardly commercialized has started a huge surge of PDA and intimacy in mainstream media and public. On the days leading up to Valentine’s Day and even weeks after, you’ll still be seeing Instagram posts of happy couples canoodling and showing off the gifts they got. It’s hard to go on social media without seeing someone posting their significant other and shoving their relationship down your throat.

But this wasn’t always the case. PDA is a very Western concept and with the rise of social media, it gives performative relationships a place to prosper. With the wide popularization of the holiday, due to commercialization, many couples go out and show off what their amazing partner got them. When asked, 65.2% of the high school students who participated in a high school survey admitted to feeling inadequate and compared their relationships to the ones they see online. Along with, 66.7% of respondents felt as if their social media feeds were pushing other people’s relationships in their face. With the survey it’s easy to see that people are very much aware of the presence of PDA, but this has skyrocketed with major commercialization of Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day gives couples an excuse to express their undying love for each other… or at least what they think is undying love from their short term relationship. Most of the couples pushing their relationship don’t seem to last.

I understand that Valentine’s Day is just another low-level holiday used as a marketing scheme for chocolate companies. But even with this knowledge, I can’t help but feel inadequate to the other couples I see. From posting to hearing about their wonderful dates, it feels almost competitive. Valentine’s Day seems to just give people more reason to partake in PDA, especially more than usual. But with what excuse? That love is in the air? You know what else is in the air? Oxygen. Now, personally, I don’t want to see random people struggling for it after an intense makeout session.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to completely outlaw PDA. I’m just saying there is a time and place for the more intense things, specifically not in public or on your Instagram story. Low stakes displays like hand holding and a quick peck aren’t bad, and if that makes you happy, go for it. Realistically, it is your relationship, not others’.

 Valentine’s Day is so much more than just an excuse to makeout outside a Texas Roadhouse. It’s a day to celebrate love in every form and that’s what it’s always been. We as a society have turned it into a big excuse to indulge in PDA . When really, Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate all love, hopefully privately.