Grinch/Scrooge: A person who dislikes the most popular holiday, Christmas. But you can’t even call it Christmas, because that’s offensive now.
    It’s that time of the year. White Christmas. Christmas lights. Snow. Cold weather. Christmas music. Decorating the tree. House smelling like freshly baked cookies. And spending time with family.  No, more like black slush all over the roads. Ice. Annoying lights that keep you up at night. Colored snow. Looking like Rudolph the “Red-Nose Reindeer’ when you walk out of your house for 2 minutes. Annoying and overused tunes that get old after you hear them once. Dealing with annoying pine needles falling on the floors. Baking food for “Santa” who we all know is just our parents lying to us even though lying is bad.
    So let’s get into it.

    We grow up being told that lying is bad and honesty is the best policy. But here we are, celebrating our parents lying to us and being hypocrites. But it’s all okay with it because, woah, presents of things we completely forget about a month later. Pointless. Especially all that time that goes into baking the cookies that “Santa” eats. When it’s really just your dad eating them as he stashes your presents under the tree. Let’s be realistic, it’s just a list of materialistic items you really don’t need that “Santa” got you.
    How about that beautiful white Christmas? You mean the icy roads and disgusting black or brown slush all over the roads that makes everything uglier then just the dead trees from all the leaves falling off. That cold winds of that oh-so-great white Christmas of cold weather gives red noses that could easily be mistaken for Rudolf, that special reindeer that “guides Santa’s Sleigh” during those cold stormy nights. Snow is nice to look at, unless you have pets or go outside. No benefits. No point.
    Or you know, getting the house ready. Putting up lights. Getting the tree. Decorating the tree. Decorating the house. Breaking out the Christmas music and movies. Spending all that time with your family which turns into brothers and sisters arguing over where each ornament goes on the tree or arguing about which song to play next or arguing about who has to help dad untangle all the lights to hang.

   When getting the tree, most families do a fake tree. It’s easy, already comes with the lights on it. Unless you’re my family and your dad just HAS to have a real tree that he gets to waste time cutting down and then waste all that time putting the lights on it. Why do all that work when you can just have it done for you? Then the issue with real trees: the pine needles falling. It’s messy. It’s painful to step on. There’s no reason to go through that. Then having to decorate it is even more work. Hanging the tinsel, the store bought ornaments. Not even the ones you made as a little kid when you were in school because your parents think they are “too tacky” for a tree. Or the jingle bells that make you feel like you’re in hell every time they make a noise.

    Hanging lights. That’s so time consuming, having to untangle the lights from the previous year and then getting out the ladder and getting on top of the house. Then leaving them on overnight, keeping people across the street awake. How much money are you willing to rack up in bills for the holiday season? Could you really waste anymore energy? I don’t think so and that’s not okay. That’s annoying. I want to sleep at 2 am. Not watch lights blink back and forth. Pink. Orange. Green. Red. Woah! I really don’t care! Then the Christmas music that is all the same, talking about how it’s cold outside. Uh, no kidding. Or lyrics about how “Santa” is coming to town…stop lying. He’s always been in town.

    The fact that it’s too offensive to some cultures to even call it Christmas should be a reason itself why it isn’t needed. Going around and telling everyone “Have a Merry Christmas!” is going to offend someone, going to insult someone’s culture for not celebrating the same way you do. Having to say “Have a Happy Holiday” should simply be proof that if you can’t call it like it is, it shouldn’t be there at all. If you can’t say Merry Christmas, we shouldn’t even be celebrating Christmas.
    So here we are, the end.

    Happy whatever doesn’t offend you.